Everyone has those days that are their best and worst days. My best days were meeting and marrying my wife, Danielle, having my four kids, and meeting Jesus. My worst day was April 8, 2000. I just celebrated one year anniversary in the marines. I was promoted to Lance Corporal and selected to be part of a training exercise with the MV22 Tilt-Rotor Osprey. It was exciting to be one of the first infantrymen to fly in the Osprey. I served in 3rd BN 5th Marines as a machine gunner. Upon arrival at the airfield we were notified our helicopter assignments were switched. My best friend was now stick 2 and I was assigned to stick 1. During descent, the rear Osprey experienced an engine stall. We watched as the bird rotated upside down, fell and exploded. 19 Marines were lost that day, 14 from my company which included my best friend George Santos. George and I meet when we sworn in to the Marine Corps, directly following our physical. Life felt like a gamble.
The memory of the 19 Marines that gave their life that day, was a war in my mind as I raised my own family. PTSD is a fog you live in. It invades your ability to make rational decisions, and pervades your sleep with vivid dreams. It clouds your values and interrupts your thoughts.
Eventually, with the stresses of life, my PTSD began to cycle. Owning my own business, managing a DIY home purchase and raising three kids was a big weight soon after my wife’s employer downsized and laid her off. My capacity to cope BROKE. We needed help. I thought the only solution was to give up, to end my life. My story could have ended there, like it has for growing number of veterans. Our nation has lost more post 9/11 veterans to suicide (estimated to be 30,000 and growing) than in the 20 years of war (7,078).
My wife remained steadfast and lead our family through major changes. We sold everything, traveled around the western United States eventually finding home. It was while traveling, I began to quiet the voices in my head, by focusing on my family and what my purpose is. The trip was exactly what we needed to heal, and it became the reason for Heroes Homestead.
Join me and be part of a solution that gives our veterans and their families the hope that they need.
